Life Imitates Art

Friend (looking at the bookshelf in my living room):  Wait, Grey's Anatomy is named after a book??

Me:  What are you talking about?

Friend:  The book on your bookshelf.  It says "Gray's Anatomy."  I didn't know the show was actually named after something medical.

Me:  ....

Decision time - again??

And here I was, thinking, "Great.  I made it to medical school.  I finally made the decision to go and I freaking did it.  Now leave me alone."  Aaaaand, once again, not so much.

See, medical school, a huge decision in itself, opens up a plethora of options you hadn't even begun to consider until you immerse yourself in this particular society.  What kind of medicine do you want to practice?  Rural/Urban?  Pediatrics/Geriatrics?  Surgery/Family Practice?  Private practice/Hospital?  (Not to mention all the stigmas that come with each of these decisions - insurance, finances, personal family, etc.)  And you know me and decisions.  (See: color of my iPod)  I avoid them like the plague, often times waiting until the last minute to hastily choose an option with my eyes closed, saying "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe."

So here I am, a whopping 5 months into Medical School thinking I'm safe, and the question I'm asked all the time: "What kind of doctor do you want to be?"  (Though, it's better than the question, "What do you become after medical school?")  I'm in the thick of a 12 hour/day lecture and studying routine for the first 2 years.  Following that grueling lifestyle, I begin as what's known as rotations, or clinicals.  It is here that I'll rotate in and out of various hospitals, clinics, and doctor's offices every 4 weeks for 2 more years - pretending to be a doctor.  This is where the meat is.  This is where you figure out if you love/hate surgery, internal medicine, radiology, cardiology, pediatrics, etc.  About a year into this, you grasp on to a specialty and begin applying for your residency which can take anywhere from 3 to 7 more years AFTER medical school.  (Uuuuuuugh)  I don't expect people to know this, so I usually revert to my standard "I have no freaking clue" answer.  

So I'm thinking, yeah, the first 2 years suck (for lack of a better word), but at least I don't have to make any life-changing decisions for a while.  I can just sit here in my little corner and study to my heart's (I mean the school's) desire.  Not so fast.

We've been receiving emails and updates lately on websites specifically designed for students just like me who have no idea what they want to be when they grow up.  They're filled with everything from personality tests to social exams to hypothetical "what would you do" scenarios.  It's exhausting.  But, boy, do you get to know your habits REAL well.  Which I guess is the point.  It's taken me all of about 26 years, but I think I'm beginning to understand myself and preferences a little better.  (Good thing "medicine" is usually a hit on most of these personality tests - phew.)

So, to make a long story short - I still have no idea what I'm going to do.  Every time I think a specialty makes the top of the list, it's knocked back down for one reason or another.  But just the thought of having to actually decide in less than three years is enough to make me panic - today.  Shocking, I know.

And I know what you're thinking: "Two posts in one month??  She must be sick of school."  And you'd be correct.  Very very correct.

Can You Hear Me Now?

So there's this new Facebook thing making its way across cyberspace in which a person will write a "note" that lists 25 otherwise unknown facts about him or her.  The idea is that you "tag" various friends when you write this note, in hopes that they will reciprocate and also post 25 facts.

With the exception of a few items I wish I never knew about some of my Facebook "friends," it was an interesting experiment to read about the 25 facts that each person thought were the most important to share about themselves.  Naturally, the most common facts highlighted the person's favorite qualities in hopes to bring them some positive attention.  I didn't see too many "I beat small children for fun," or "I steal from the church collection plate" statements out there.

But that's the nature of the game.  Status updates, away messages, myspace notes, and blogs (heh) are all intended for our voice to be heard - many times, to complete strangers.  (When was the last time you talked to more than 30 of your 582 Facebook friends in person? - OK, well I haven't at least)  It's an interesting development over the last few years.

Back in the day, you found out how someone was doing by making a phone call, or seeing them at school or the store or what have you.  Now, people I haven't talked to in years and years are telling me that they're "at a football game," or "out getting wasted," or "lounging around the house."  And I can't say I don't want to know these things, because why else do I sign on to Facebook and AIM regularly?  Not only do I want to know what they're up to, I like to tell others what I'm doing too.  Why?  It makes me look cool, obviously.  Ah...   the kicker.  It's certainly changing the way people feel about one another and the kind of "front" we display when we know others are watching.  What do you say about yourself when the world is listening?  Is it any different than if they're not listening?

But, anyway, since I'm too shy and afraid of criticism to post something like this to people I actually do know, I give you, random internet people: 25 Facts About Me.  (I needed some excuse to do this, right?)

1.  I am very ambitious, and it's paid off.

2.  I don't really wear make-up and don't particularly like to either.

3.  I tend to use school as an excuse on missing out on life.

4.  But I really do like to study (usually).

5.  I don't like to work.  This probably explains why I'm 26 and still have 3.5 more years of formal schooling left.

6.  I underestimate myself and my potential quite often, despite my ambition.  This is why I always scare the shit out of myself when I decide to make some life-changing decision.

7.  I don't like girls.  There's a select few girls I'm truly friends with.  They usually remind me of my guy friends.

8.  I am so in love with the man I am going to spend the rest of my life with.

9.  I am horribly afraid of death and dying.  Part of the reason I went into medicine was to face this fear head on.

10.  I have "book browsing" days in which I'll spend hours meticulously selecting my next read.

11.  I'm a huge football fan.

12.  I love having 3 younger brothers.  They were my own personal army growing up.  And I realize that as I get older, they still are.

13.  I wear clothes from Target and Old Navy.  I rarely own more than one pair of jeans at a time.  My purse has never cost more than $30.

14.  I love to travel and experience new cultures.  Consequently, I get very restless living in one place for more than a couple years.

15.  Dusk is my favorite time of day.

16.  I like to sleep cold.

17.  Skiing is my favorite sport.

18.  I once drove across the country with no money, no job, and no one I knew at my destination.  I lived there for a year.  It was kickass.

19.  I'm really horrible at remembering names.  I feel bad, because it looks like I wasn't paying attention when I first met you.  This is partly true.

20.  I have worked as a waitress since I was 16.  It's taught be the value of money and hard work.

21.  I have a very high faith in the goodness of others.  This often labels me as being "gullible."  I also tend to get taken advantage of.

22.  I'm beginning to understand why adults don't particularly like to celebrate birthdays.

23.  I have minor OCDs.  Things like asymmetry and misspellings really get to me.

24.  I'm very independent and like to do things all by myself - like a big girl.

25.  I've never broken a bone, sprained a joint, or needed stitches.  Even though I rock climb, ski, SCUBA dive, hike, bike, run, play pick-up football, and used to wrestle with my brothers relentlessly growing up.

So there you have it.  25 things I'll tell the world when I know it's listening.

(and I've also discovered a passion for italics lately - in case you hadn't noticed)

Time Warped

Saw this today on my way home from school. I get the whole "Can't wait for Bush to not president any longer" implication. But shouldn't it read, "Is it 2009 yet?"

Because, the answer to the original question is, "Yes, yes it is 2008. And Bush is still president."

Guess that explains why this has been the ONLY bumper sticker I've seen of its kind.

McBama

And I'm so not lovin' it.

It's been quite apparent over the last few months that we have another presidential election upon us.  How can I tell?  Every other house on the block is plastered with posters, SNL's ratings have shot up (securing Tina Fey a job for at least the next month), and the pro/con commercials for the candidates have surpassed the number of car, food, and Viagra commercials combined.

To be honest, politics isn't my thing.  For one, I don't know enough.  I am not sufficiently educated in the political arena to have a structured argument/discussion with anyone that wants to talk about the issues.  I just don't get hyped up about it like others do.  This isn't because I don't care.  It's just not that interesting to me.  It's like asking my husband what he thinks of College Football.  Could he tell you what College Football is?  Probably.  Does he care to know why there is no longer an incidental face mask penalty?  No.  He still knows that he hates the game and the details are just details.  I find that so many political debates zero in on one or two key issues and I am just utterly unprepared to discuss any of them at depth.

And the second reason I steer away from debate is that I have never witnessed someone convert someone else to their "side."  Most arguments are littered with disrespectful comments toward one another and do nothing but leave both parties frustrated and angry.  One of the most annoying things in the world is to be told that you're "wrong" because someone thinks differently from you.

Now before you go all "she's a terrorist" on me, I do vote, and I do care very much about who will be our next president.  But it's none of your business.  That's one of my favorite things about this entire election process.  I can vote for whoever I want for whatever reasons I want and there is absolutely nothing YOU can do about it.  Why?  Because it's my vote, and only my vote.  You have one too.  I'm not trying to take yours, don't try to take mine.  And, hey, at least I don't vote based on party lines.  That should make you happy, right?

Why is she blogging about politics you ask?  Good question.  It must be because someone pissed me off.  Because god knows I have other things to do.  (Yaaaaayyyy!!!!  Story time!!!)

I decided to skip school for the day, get my haircut, do a little shopping, and break up the routine with a quiet lunch at Panera.  OK, it's Panera on a Tuesday at 12:30 - so it wasn't quiet, but I'm good at drowning out the background.  Plus I had a great book on Schizophrenia I was stoked about reading.

I was just breaking into my french onion soup and flipping through the first couple pages when I became aware of the Mom and baby at the table next to mine.  We were close to the door, and several people bent down to coo at the little one on their way out, while telling Mom just how beautiful and sweet he was.  I mean, they were right - he was a damn cute little 1 year old.  I became aware of Mom glancing in my direction in between bites of my sandwich.  I turned, smiled at her, and went back to reading.

"Your soup looks good - is that the french onion?"

"Yeah, I get it almost every time.  Your little boy is very cute, and so good."

"Thanks!"

Great, nice little chat, acknowledged the cute baby, moving back to my book.

"I don't know about this upcoming election you know.  I mean, do you realize how bad ______ is going to be for this country if he's elected"

"Pardon?"

"Well you know, with the whole economic and healthcare crisis, this country NEEDS _______ to be president, not the other guy who voted 7639 times against blah blah blah..........."

Oooooooo dear god.  OK, maybe she just needed some grownup talk.  I mean, the cooing and baby talk is fun and all, for about 5 minutes.  She just needed an adult conversation.  So I played along, smiled and nodded my head, furrowed my eyebrows when she was concerned, and agreed just how important this election is going to be.  But what's really difficult for me to do is get OUT of these kinds of conversations.  Like I said before, I don't know enough about the issues to comment on them, much less try to segue into another topic... like say the kickass roast beef sandwich I was eating.  In other words, I was stuck.

10 - 15 minutes later, she finished her lunch and the baby was antsy enough for her to realize that he needed his afternoon nap.  We closed our discussion, shook hands, smiled, and I promised to watch the second presidential debate tonight.  I guess it became apparent just how little I knew about the economy - which probably drove her up the wall.  Not at any point did I reveal who I may be voting for though.  She tried for it, lots of times, but like I said before, none of her business.

The lesson here?  Don't interrupt my lunch, especially with political talk.  I get pissed, blog about it, and waste valuable study time.

Vinestreet at Sunset

(out of the sunroof of my car)

Weird Ass Ducks

One of them must have lost a contact lens.

First Day

I guess first week really.

Anyone else feel like it should already be next Saturday?  Because I sure do.  Don't get me wrong, the days are FLYING.  But I've somehow squeezed more productivity into this week than I did for most of last year.  Yikes.

Really though, it's about time we got this ball rolling.  The phrase, "shit or get off the pot," has been resonating in my head for most of the past year.  And I really am well-prepared due to the Master's degree.  50% has been a review, and will continue that way for much of the first few terms.  Thank god.  Because the looks on some people's faces after Day 2 made me cringe.  You could almost see the threads of sanity snapping behind their eyes.

1 week down, 207(?) more to go.

17. Read 30 non-school books

Despite the craziness of Summer, I still squeezed in a few good reads.

Somehow, I missed this one in high school.  I was walking by the required Summer Reading table a few months back, thinking nostalgically of the many Titles I was "forced" to read.  "Lord of the Flies," "The Picture of Dorian Gray," "The Crucible," "Mosquito Coast," "The Lost World," "A Doll's House," all that Shakespeare...  And then I came across this one, realized I never actually read it, and decided to give it shot.  How did I miss this book??  Anyway, it was great to say the least.

I actually already read this one a couple years back.  But I love dogs... and John Grogan brilliantly depicts the highlights of dog ownership, both good and bad.  That, and I'm trying to get the book count up here.

*Edit: I just saw this is also being made into a movie.  Starring... you guessed it....      Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston?

I didn't want to be one of those students that read "doctor" books.  But there wasn't anything else that caught my interest that day.  It's alright, but I don't remember much from it if that's any indication.

I'm not one to get into the "beach reads" during the Summer Months.  But even this one was a little too depressing, especially since I read it on my honeymoon.

This almost violated my "beach read" rule because it was so melodramatic.  But I just couldn't put it down.  Which is why I won't watch Maury Povich - I'll spend an hour glued to the TV, wanting to know who the baby's daddy is.

And, finally, my latest read.  I've been following this guy's blog now for the past few years.  After all those years of waitressing, I took pleasure in reading about his pains and woes from the profession - and how he got revenge so many times.

11 down, 19 to go.

Last Day

That's it.  It's over.  No Mas.

My life as a waitress, after 8 years is finally done.

I started in the business just before the start of my Senior year of High School.  Of High School.  I began as a hostess and had to deal with the Friday and Saturday night waits and seating charts at a busy corporate restaurant and bar (oddly enough, now bankrupt).  People were rude, pompous, and arrogant.  And the worst ones had children just like them.  I was called names, yelled at, and even got pulled into the middle of a few fist fights.  Eventually though, I graduated to the highly sought-after waitress position, and now these angry and rude customers were mine at a table for a whole hour.  Super.  Yet, I was able to work my way through College by raking in some cash through my Summer, Winter, and Spring Breaks.  Hell, I'd work a day or two around Thanksgiving if that meant another couple $100.

Summer after my Senior year of college, I stayed at school, but I just couldn't pull myself away from all that flowing cash.  I worked at a local bar in the town and dealt with drunk and sick college students.  Not a far cry from my "other" job at the University.  I was just seeing them earlier in the night as opposed to later.  I would be at work until 4AM cleaning up the mess they left behind.

Quickly thereafter, I packed my car and drove to Colorado.  Where should a smart and intelligent woman with a Bachelor's in Science work in Colorado?  Why, a Brewery seems like a good idea.  And it was, it really was.  Plus, I learned some great restaurant-Spanish.  The cash was incredible and I spent every dime of it on Skis, ski passes, and a lavish lifestyle in an expensive Mountain Resort town.  Here, the customers would throw money at you for whatever service you could give them.  "Sing "Happy Birthday" to your mother-in-law?  That will be $30 sir."

Having returned back to Philadelphia for Graduate School, I decided that a low-key, easy job was the best way to fill up my days before class at nights.  So for 3 or 4 days a week, I waitressed at the local pizzeria down the street from my house.  The customers here were a pretty laid-back bunch of guys who would stop in for lunch and tipped me really really well.  I made great friends with the staff, and had some damn good pizza for 2 years.

And how quickly, it's 8 years later.  I tossed in the apron a few weeks ago, around mid-July, just before the Wedding.  I bid farewell to this grueling line of work shortly before I left for Colorado.  No sense in prolonging the inevitable.  And really, I couldn't take just one. more. day.  Because as great as straight-up cash is, this job sucked the big one.  And now, with Medical School, and no way to hold a part-time job, I can officially free myself of this profession, and take out a boat-load of student loans.

And I'll always over-tip.  Always.