First Day Jitters

In a few hours, I'll attend orientation and my first class in PCOM's post-bacc program. I'm a bit nervous. As you have seen from the previous post, I haven't exactly done many school-related things this past year. The only books I've read have been for enjoyment and anything scientific about them was a pure coincidence.

Everyone keeps telling me how great I'll do, how I shouldn't be worried, and so forth. Quite frankly, I'm scared shitless. I've already gone for a long run today and paced the house a few hundred times trying to shake the jitters. Nothing has worked. I have knots in my stomach and I could very well vomit if I tried hard enough. The fears of being unsuccessful and eventually failure have consumed me.

I feel like it's the first day of kindergarten. Granted, I'm not worried about the big bully pushing me in the mud or not having the right colored crayons. But I probably feel the same way now as I did before the first day back then. (And I wouldn't put it past anyone to push me in the mud anyway)

It's all in my head and after tonight I'll be just fine. I just hate waiting out the hours.

Fortunately I haven't had any elaborate dreams leading up to this day, surprisingly enough.


Funny, now playing: "The Captain" by Guster.

"It's simple. So says the captain."